Am I that wicked servant who is beating my fellow servants?

From My Presence in My beloved Thia's journal…

Thursday, July 28, 2011(11:13 am)
Am I ready my Master to record again? Somehow I sense that I am not to record anything for the moment. I sense the urgency to finish putting all things recorded in the past 26 years and to that end I am working day and night and You know it my Master! As I reflect on Matthew 24 and all the words that You spoke to us I rejoice but I also tremble! Why should I tremble? Because since 1986 You gave me the command to speak to Your people about the hardness of their hearts and though I have done my best to obey You I still wonder if I am that servant in Mat 24:48-51

But if that servant is wicked and says to himself, My master is delayed and is going to be gone a long time, and begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with the drunken, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour of which he is not aware and will punish him—cut him up by scourging and put him with the pretenders (hypocrites); there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.

Yes I question myself on the daily basis, "am I that wicked servant who is beating my fellow servants?" Sometimes I get down and out on account of such tormenting thoughts but You—O my Master my Beloved Yahuwah/Yahushua! You never let me sink in the depth of despair! As those thoughts came to me today I went to find comfort in the Scriptures and as usually I like to record those Scriptures so I either turn to my online Scriptures of to my files where I have recorded so much already! And so today I began my Scriptural search in the thousands of files I have accumulated in the past 26 years—not an easy task but today I pulled a file not sure that such was what I needed and presto! There are the words of comfort from my Father—Beloved Master perfect article for the front page of the renewed SITE and I quote, Tuesday, April 27, 2010 (5:48 am). O my Master—my Beloved Yahuweh/Yahushua You are awesome and Your ways are beyond the human grasp! Here I am beloved of You and yet though that my children and my brothers and sisters claim to love me in reality they despise me and I cannot help but to love them with more intensity and zeal as it is Your desire for me to do! Such is the paradox of life! And the more they despise me the more You reveal to me the truth of our existence starting from Abel and Cain! I am sure that if my children and brothers and sisters get a hold of what You are showing me this morning they would surely be as enraged as Cain was because You approve and delight in my obedience and despise their disobedience! WHAT? Am I daring to place Your most set apart children in the same category as Cain?

"O My child—My beloved Thia indeed I delight in your obedience to bring me the offering of a broken and a contrite spirit instead of the offering of all your self efforts and achievements to please Me! And it does amuse Me to reveal these things to you and see how you rejoice even from the ground where My children spill your blood in the spirit of Cain!
"But why are you rejoicing at the strike of each of this deadly blows from My Cains? You rejoice because you know My heart and you know that even though I vanished Cain from My Presence I also set a mark on him! Likewise I have set a mark on each one of My children least they would be killed or done away by the enemy of My created beings.
"And so goes the story of My children. It's all a matter of OBEDIENCE My child—My beloved Thia. But My children are to steeped in their own assumptions of My Word and of everything else in this world that they have missed the simplicity of the whole matter! And so they wander in the land of Nod but they think not themselves as wanderers and they take pride in all that they have accomplished in the land of Nod!
"Can anyone hear what I am telling you on this instant of time? Would anyone pay mind? Would anyone humbly admit to be a wanderer rather than the select and elect and chosen children of Mine possessors of high ranks and positions in My Kingdom as they consider themselves to be? Thus the words of Yahushua,

Luke 14:8-11 When you are invited by anyone to a marriage feast, do not recline on the chief seat in the place of honor, lest a more distinguished person than you has been invited by him, and he who invited both of you will come to you and say, Let this man have the place you have taken. Then, with humiliation and a guilty sense of impropriety, you will begin to take the lowest place.
But when you are invited, go and recline in the lowest place, so that when your host comes in, he may say to you, Friend, go up higher! Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled (ranked below others who are honored or rewarded), and he who humbles himself (keeps a modest opinion of himself and behaves accordingly) will be exalted (elevated in rank).

"You see My child—My beloved and precious Thia you are to Me over most of My invited children but I have purposely hidden your identity to My children because your time has not come yet for me to elevate you to your rightful seat at My side along with the rest of My truly obedient children.
"So My child—My beloved Thia it does not matter how you are unjustly accused of aspiring to the best seat of authority over My children. It does not matter all the false accusations that you want to take My place and control them. It does not matter how they relegate you to the lowest seat and do not acknowledge your person as desirable or worthy of their honor.
"None of that matters My child—My beloved and precious Thia because the Master of the House has not yet arrived to give to each what is due and sit each one of My invited children in their proper place!"

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 (8:07 am)
O my Master—my Beloved Yahuweh/Yahushua two years ago today You called at the door of my heart to send me to the lost sheep of Yisrael and I answered Your call wholeheartedly though I had no conception of all that was involved in the amazing journey that You initiated that morning! So here I am only two years later but You have covered so much ground under my feet that it seems that it has been a thousand years since You called me!
O well that's me Thia Your beloved! And You know me and You know of this tremendous imagination that You have gifted to me! Everything to this child of Yours is totally out of the scope of any other human being's imagination thus I can't find my way among human beings and You know it and it amuses You!
Can anyone imagine the extent of my lofty imaginations about my children and my brothers and sisters in this world? Hardly! Even Robin and Roxana who are the ones who come close to see what goes on with me even them fail to appreciate this imagination of mine when it comes to Your children!
O yes to me anyone that even mentions a resemblance to Your name or to Your Being is high up above and next to Your throne and way above my rank! And O how insignificant do I feel in the sight of the Jimmys and the Frances and the Yedidas and the many others who have been faithfully serving you all of their lives and who have a record that all can see and admire! But me! I have nothing but a sinful life to account for and the message of my wickedness—the same wickedness ingrained in all human beings! So why not set everybody else above me? Yes my imagination takes over and I go around with my lofty imaginations about some people presuming to know of their goodness but that's all that imaginations of mine are: presumptions—suppositions without any value because in essence You are opening my eyes to see the reality that the wickedness message that You have given to me to proclaim applies to these ones as well! So there goes another enthusiastic bubble busted! Here I was telling Ahmad about my wonderful and beautiful and humble Jimmy and how Jimmy was going to receive me with opened arms and offer his home and support all the way! O what a big bubble did I inflated! Only for You to bust it and teach me a lesson not to inflate anymore bubbles but to concentrate in Your Presence alone my Master—my Beloved Yahuweh/Yahushua! So I hope I have learned my lesson. From here on out I will be more sensible and quit blowing imaginary bubbles about everybody no matter how enticing to bubble up all their goodness seems to me! Truly no one can be trusted! So I am not going to set my mind on anybody's support including Ahmad's support. Let it all be done according to Your will not mine!